20 February 2013

pants in the shower guy

I feel like the person that tells you an incredible story to which you respond with an incredulous eyebrow raise and they reply, "Hey, I'm not making this stuff up!" Because I'm not.

So I'm in the IMA locker room shower... [Always a good way to start any story in my opinion.] and I'm toweling off when this guy walks up.

At first I thought he was just going to wet his towel or something because he's wearing jeans, socks and tennis shoes and carrying his towel.  But no; Mr. Jeans, socks and tennis shoes walks right into the shower, turns on the water and proceeds to wash his hair.  While wearing his jeans, socks and tennis shoes! IN THE SHOWER.

Of course the whole time he's doing this he's all bent over in a supreme effort not to get his pants and shoes wet.

As I'm trying my best not to laugh out loud or stare too much I'm thinking there has got to be a reason he is doing this, right? Let's go over some possible scenarios.

  1. He's mortified of being naked around other guys. This is not that unusual and I have seen tons of guys who try to undress/get dressed with their towel wrapped securely around their waist. Some guys even go so far as to not remove their shorts (swimming or otherwise) while in the shower and simply shove their soapy hand down their pants and then pull the waist elastic away from their body to rinse after. Other guys will just wear shorts under their pants, work out, put their pants back on over their shorts and go home where I'm assuming they can then shower in private.
  2. He forgot to wash his hair and didn't remember until he was half way dressed. This seems not so plausible to me as I would just get undressed again or freaking forgo the shampoo. I mean I did rinse my hair. Besides, most people wash their hair once per day anyway so the next washing is just not that far off. Pits and crotch seem way higher up on the list of washing priorities to me. Plus, I'd feel like an enormous idiot WALKING INTO THE IMA SHOWER WITH MY PANTS AND SHOES ON. Then again, some people are motivated by different things than me.
  3. I can't really think of a third scenario but my tendency is to try and list things in threes so I gave it a shot.

I think it had to be #1. Discuss amongst yourselves.

After getting dressed I'm walking out of the locker room and the hall to the exit passes the lifeguard/first-aid room by the swimming pool where the door happened to be open. Here is the sound bite that I heard.

"Okay, so it's 8:30 Friday night and this guy runs in, gags himself and runs out! We totally had to shut down the pool."

I'll just pause a second while that sinks in.

in case you didn't get it, here is what went down. On some Friday night, this guy runs over to the swimming pool, makes himself throw up IN THE POOL and then runs away. WTF? Here again are some possible scenarios.

  1. Some sort of fraternity hazing. Doubtful; I was in a fraternity and our house at least did not do stuff that would make our pledges 1) look stupid (in public anyway) or 2) dramatically increase the odds of getting arrested for attempted bioterrorism.
  2. Bioterrorism. Well, although extremely amateurish this person's act did succeed in getting the pool shut down but did they have to flush it? Were the men in haz-mat suits called? I suspect not. Odds are they just pumped another metric shit-ton of chemicals into the water and waited a bit for them to disperse and opened the pool back up.
  3. A game of Truth or Dare gone awry. Who knows, kids these days...

People. Always a good source of entertainment I say.

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