13 June 2018

Alaska Mountain Ultrarunning Camp Beer Mile

It had to happen sooner or later, I just ran my first beer mile!

Thanks to Geoff Roes for hosting this event at his Alaska Mountain Ultrarunning Camp and to Dakota Jones for participating and making me look good.

[Photo credit: Kelly MacDonald]

Pictured left to right are Tracey, Cam, Nina (in front), Dakota (in back), and Martin.

Note that three of us are drinking even more beer after running this race... at least we took a break to shower and change clothes.

This Beer Mile was part of a week-long running camp in Juneau, AK. After our third day of running, we drove back to the Shrine of St Therese where we were staying in the Jubilee Cabin, put on some dry shoes and got to it.

In true Beer Mile fashion, we used generic, American lager that was 5% alcohol (PBR at this event). Less is cheating and more would be silly. Like this event isn't already...

The course was NOT flat. We started with a lap around the cabin and then headed down a gravel road hill. At the bottom was a fire hydrant we had to tag and then it was back up the hill to drink your next beer. On your last lap, you had to finish with two laps around the cabin since the out-and-back was just under 400 meters. According to Strava, I gained almost 250' total so that's' roughly 60' per lap.

Of the eight clients at this edition of the running camp, only three stepped up. Luckily so did Nina (camp staff) and Dakota (guest celebrity).

The five of us lined up, held our first beer at the ready and waited for Geoff's start command.

LAP #1
  • Who knew I could drink fast? I was the first person to take off running.
ASIDE - truth be told, I was counting on my drinking serving me well in this race... At least two and perhaps three of the other competitors were faster runners than me, some MUCH faster.
  • Nina risked disqualification by trying to shotgun her beer. Lucky for her the judges didn't rule against this brazen move. Unlucky for her she got the technique backward and tried to drink out of the hole she punched in the bottom of the can. This resulted in her pouring most of her beer down her chest. Live and learn.
  • Descending the gravel road was no problem, coming back up was another story. I had to pace myself - not just because of the suds in my gut but because this race was four laps!
LAP #2
  • My second beer went down pretty quick too, whew! Of course, I knew this could not last...
  • As I took off running, Dakota started drinking his second beer - oh no! Nothing like feeling stalked on the course.
  • Running up the hill this time resulted in some burping. Okay, a lot of burping. I was doing my best to go fast while not incurring a penalty lap (which is what happens if you puke).
  • As I ran up the hill for the second time Dakota was running down a few seconds behind me. He held his hand out and we high-fived. Nina was right behind him and also held out her hand but I dissed her! :( For some reason, my focus had shifted to the ground. What a lame move on my part, and rest assured I caught hell for that all evening long.
LAP #3
  • Did I say I could drink fast? Well, not this time! While downing my third can I had to pause once for air since I was breathing so hard and once to make sure the beer stayed down.
  • Where was Dakota? I kept waiting for the sound of footsteps behind me but it never materialized.
  • You wouldn't think that seven minutes was long enough for alcohol to affect you but it is. So now I had to not only worry about the carbonation vs. effort ratio, I also started to feel light headed.
  • MORE BURPING. You know that feeling when you think you're going to burp (or fart) and you are pretty sure that only air will come out...? That was me, rolling the dice baby!
  • Every competitor I saw on the course was smiling. And Tracey was laughing! Was I taking this way too seriously? That's rhetorical. The answer is, "of course".
LAP #4
  • It felt like it took HOURS to drink my fourth beer. I must have pulled the can away from my mouth at least four times. On this lap, each time was due to the bubbles and the volume of liquid I was ingesting battling with me trying to keep it all inside my stomach.
  • Surprisingly, my pace did not vary that much from lap to lap... Then again, with a one-mile event, the stats on Strava are pretty condensed so it's hard to tell with much certainty.
  • EVEN MORE BURPING. I'll spare you the details, let's just say I was lucky to make it up the hill with no penalty.
  • Those last two laps around the cabin I had to run after cresting the hill for the fourth time were rough. At least it was flat ground.
OMG, I won!

Many stars aligned to give me this victory.
  • Turns out I'm a little faster beer drinker than Tracey. All I can say is you go, girl! Tracey had originally suggested she drink wine but the judges ruled against her and she still ran. Without that ruling, I suspect this would have been much more competitive.
  • Cam drinks like a freaking bird. A very tall, handsome bird that can run fast.
  • Dakota also can't drink fast and he puked on lap #2. That's what happens when you run so damn quick Dakota... If you ever get tired of hearing what Jason Koop is telling you, I'm available. Just sayin'.
  • Nina probably got flustered by her beer fiasco on lap #1. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that if this had been an ultra event, she would have won. Handily.
This is the first, and I suspect last, time that I have ever beaten an elite runner. Nice. I'm going to let that sink in for a bit.

I'm bummed that I could only find one picture of me at this event.

  • 1st - Overall in 10:22
  • There are no official results... just take my word for it.
Nutrition (before)
  • Did I mention that I was taking this event seriously? When Geoff confirmed that the Beer Mile was on for later this evening I restrained myself from the usual post-run gorging and only had my two scoops of Hammer Nutrition Recoverite. The snacking could wait!
Nutrition (during)
  • 48 oz of delicious, thirst quenching, easy drinking Pabst Blue Ribbon
Nutrition (after)

1 comment:

Popular Posts