13 December 2009

Guess what, you've been doing it all wrong.

Son of a bitch…

I saw my PT last Friday and was made to realize that every single core exercise I have been doing recently is being done incorrectly. I felt so deflated.

Turns out what I was calling 'core' is really 'abdominal so great for the six-pack but not very helpful for the spine. Nice.

I hosed my back about six(?) years ago and after ignoring/resting it did not help and after re-injuring it about three years ago I finally saw my doctor, had an MRI scan, discovered I had a bulging/herniated disk and sought the help of a PT.

As is probably the case all too often, patients are not meticulous enough and after time they start to get sloppy with their form and soon they are not doing themselves any good or even doing themselves some harm. I was no different. Not only was I no longer doing the good exercise incorrectly, I was also inadvertently doing 'bad' exercises meaning I was doing stuff that was aggravating my injury. F'ing hell.

So I went and found a new PT as my original one had moved on and we started from scratch. He looked at my scan and discovered that I had TWO bulging disks. Nice. He also made me acutely aware how weak the muscles were that I thought I was exercising these past two years.

Time to re-find the resolve to deal with the back and hopefully realize some improvement.

06 December 2009

Zappos.com Las Vegas Half Marathon

Wow, I'm actually writing this post on 11 November 2014 but I was surfing and found this result. Nice.

I had no idea I had run this fast back then...! And of course I didn't have a GPS watch back in the day so no route.

Waking HR  
Body Weight  
Body Fat  
Workout Food water, sports drink, gel
Time of Day  
Workout Type  
Results official results
Time 1:34:47
Distance 13.1 miles
Pace 7:14 min/mile
Equipment some Brooks running shoes
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25 June 2009

Martin learns a new word–TSS

I've been following Joe Friel on Twitter for a few days now and every damn day he says pretty much the same thing.

"Montrose to Crested Butte, CO. Long day in saddle. TSS 292."

At first it did not even realize he was using an acronym and them I'm like, what the hell does TSS mean? So I looked it up:

Training Stress Score (TSS) - The TSS represents a calculated number that takes into account the duration and intensity of a workout to arrive at a single score of the overall training load and physiological stress created by that session. One hour of functional threshold (as hard as you can go for one hour) = 100 Training Stress Score points.

Welcome to the new world. At one point you could just sort of rely on your breathing and how labored it was. Then came heart rate which was quickly eclipsed by power. And now there is TSS.

Shit. Soon you won't be able to exercise without toting along a CPU. Oh wait, that's already happening…

"How was your ride honey?"

"Well, my TSS was 255…"


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23 May 2009

100 Miles of Nowhere

6 Body
of Day
9:00 AM Distance 100.18 miles Power  
2:54 Time
2:48:29 Time
34.54 mph Speed
35.67 mph Speed
43.33 mph
At least a couple of feet based on everyone else with a GPS. I know, I know, not sure how that is possible unless we're all so not smooth on the rollers that the bouncing accounts for this. Max
Breakfast 6:30 AM - cereal
Lunch 3 beers, veggie bratwurst, bun, pasta salad, Tabouli salad, beets, garbanzo beans, nuts
Dinner pizza
Workout Food 2 large bottles each with 2 scoops HEED, Fig Newtons, 1 beer at 50 miles
Workout Type Rollers, what else would you ride on a gorgeous day…?
Weather upper 60s to low 70s, dry, sunny, light breeze
Results I finished, 'nuff said.
Equipment Road Bike
Clothing bib shorts

"OMG, did I really sign up for this…?!" is what I'm thinking as I wake up. A good friend Tom W talked me into doing 100 Miles of Nowhere today and I think I'm having buyer's remorse before we even get started.

We (Chance R, Aaron L, Brent C and I) all arrived at Tom's place a bit before 9 and proceeded to lug all our crap up to what seemed like the 9th floor of his house. Yes, he has a deck outside of the kitchen but no, we had to go to the roof deck. Truth be told, the view from up here is pretty freaking incredible and on a day like today you could see Mt Rainier, the Olympics, all the drunks on Alki Beach, you name it.

We filled out bottles, applied liberal amounts of chamois cream, positioned our rollers and trainers, turned on the music and started riding. To nowhere.

The banter was super lively as we made our way to the first 10 miles. People were cracking jokes, teasing each other and doing all the usual guy stuff that seems to spontaneously occur when a bunch of dudes do things in the absence of members of the opposite sex. Good times basically.

Then I rode off of rollers. Shit. I almost flipped over the chair I was using to start myself but brushed it off and tried to act all casual. Not. Within 10 more miles I bailed in the other direction and almost took out Tom. Thank goodness he was next to a solid railing and was able to fend me off.

The bonus of having someone with such mad skillz along is that it gives everyone in the group lots to talk about… Consider it my contribution guys. That's right, all totally intentional.

Around 40 miles in I had been off the bike four times, twice intentionally, just to give my crotch a break. At 50 miles I had to have a beer. Damn, it really hit the spot. The only problem was it made me pine for the finish and it was a tiny mental challenge to get back on and ramp it up after the break.

By the time we had covered 70 miles I had ridden off my rollers two more times (crushing my supply of Fig Newtons in the process) and the lively, sarcastic banter had almost totally died out.

Tom had said that the last 20 miles would be rough because all we would  be able to think about was the finish. I got that way with 25 to go. With 10 to go I climbed off one more time, did some stretches, had a long drink and then got back on for the final push home.

Brent, Chance and Tom kept asking each other how far they had ridden. I was keeping my towel over my cyclometer on purpose and trying hard not to check the odometer too often. With about 10 miles to go that strategy stopped working and I ended up checking almost every mile. With five to go I had to wind it down for a bit and pedal really slowly for a few seconds to give my knees a break; the tendons behind my right one were starting to feel kind of tight. I thought that would do it but with two to go I had to slow down one more time. But then it was over.

I quit at exactly 100 miles. The extra tenth was just me coasting to a stop. :) YES. It was such a relief to not need to climb back on. I grabbed a beer from the cooler and hit a chair.

I had taken off my jersey within the first 10 miles as it was a warm day and I wanted to get some sun. As usual, the first few times Martin 'get's some sun' he overdoes it in dramatic fashion. I checked out my back and it looked pretty red and you know that if it looks red right after you get out of the sun, it's going to be flaming in a few hours. :( So I just made sure to turn 180 degrees and keep the sun on my chest. :)
ASIDE - salt stain city! Man, I am not usually the guy that has big, white, crusty lines on his helmet strap or shorts but after this ride I had BIG salt crystals on my back, thighs and shins. Impressive stuff.

After dividing all the swag, toweling off a bit and moving the bikes and trainers downstairs, Tom fired up the grill and cooked up some brats. Then Brent's girlfriend came by with some pasta salad and Shelley and Kari showed up with more food and beer. Nice.

I finally made it home and took the progressively colder and colder shower followed by the full body dip in aloe gel.

Good times. Will I do this again? Don't ask me for a while.

Here are some pictures.

15 May 2009

Ellsworth Witness tandem

And so it begins.

A few days ago under the affects of new bike euphoria I Tweeted, "Can I get a (Ellsworth) witness?!" Sheesh, talk about starting things off with a cliché. :(

But screw that, a few days ago Shelley and I received the bulk of the stuff needed to build our first full-suspension mountain bike tandem and it rocks. It ROCKS. You hear me?

First I gotta thank the 'sponsors'.

Ellsworth - this company is one of most outstanding mountain bike companies in the world. All their shiz is still made right here in America (not just assembled here or designed here) and lucky for me they launched their own recovery plan whereby new bikes were discounted $700 if you sent them any(!) old complete bike or frame. Ellsworth gets the tax write off, needy people get a working used bike and Shelley and I get a brand spanking new ride. Martin is no dummy, I jumped at the offer.

WebCyclery (and Henry Able) - this company is actually a brick and mortar retailer in OR but they happen to have a big web presence and phenomenal customer service. Oh yeah, the happen to be tandem experts. It helps that Henry is a tandem-crazy person himself (he has a road, full-suspension and single speed tandem at least…) and the guy is passionate about riding them. Way passionate. Henry answered all of my questions patiently and even though I did not get ALL of the parts through WebCyclery they were never anything but fantastic. I did a 15 year stint in the bicycle industry and this is why IBDs succeed.

This morning I finally broke down the boxes, put the frame in my repair stand and sorted through all the parts to see if anything was not going to work or was missing. Here are those pictures. Turns out the 350 mm Ritchey Pro seatpost I ordered for myself will not be long enough. Luckily though Ritchey makes a Comp in a 400 mm length so that's now on the way. Even though I triple and quadruple checked the advertised dimensions against my single and tandem bikes, there is nothing like dropping 5 large on a bike that you have never seen in person to make you sweat… I was not absolutely positive it would fit us until it showed and thank GOODNESS it will be fine. Shelley will actually need a 350 mm post and the stoker top tube is plenty roomy. And with the 400 mm post in front and one of my 15 cm stems it will be fine for me. One word: relief. One more: Anticipation. One more: I'm calling in sick as soon as it's ready! Oops, that's more than one but you get the idea.

I was able to recycle some parts from an old tandem (the captain's cranks) and from my single (headset, shifters, derailleurs, saddle and pedals) and had a some tires and tubes and a saddle and pedals lying around for Shelley but everything else is new.

Speaking of new, I love the fork I got for this bike. LOVE it. It's the 2009 Fox Talas. OMG, this is one sweet way to hang a wheel on a frame.

ASIDE - I had to sell two tandems to afford this one! I sold the beautiful, custom Ti Cycles steel bike with the daVinci Designs drivetrain that Cameron and I used to ride in the Courage Classic to a good friend and I will need to sell our Rodriguez mountain bike tandem as well. I'm okay with this. :)

What's next? I need to build the wheels and then assemble the bike. I'm still waiting for two parts to arrive, one of which is that longer seatpost, but my goal is to be in the dirt one week from Saturday. Yes!

01 May 2009

six weeks in

What a bust…!

To fill you in, some time ago I embarked on a diet to see if I could improve my climbing a bit (I'm talking about cycling here) and today is a little over six weeks from the time I began.

Did it work? Well… it might have helped a little but it also reduced the fun factor in my life quite a bit. Like I said in my original post, there is nothing like trying to eliminate something from your life to make you want it liken ever before. When it comes to food that is. In my case I cut out alcohol and 'extraneous' sugar meaning deserts and the like.

And of course as luck would have it (not), as soon as I decided to do this we were invited out for drinks several times and went to a free dinner with unlimited wine, etc., etc. Sigh.

The whole point was to try and lose a few pounds for this hilly race I did last Sunday. When I started I lost four or five pounds right away and then leveled off. After a few weeks I gained back a couple of pounds because I think I started eating larger portions to compensate for not having the stuff I was craving. Then I leveled off again so the net result was I only lost about three pounds.

That's not a big amount of gain (read: weight loss) for a comparatively large amount of anguish and conscious self-control. What did Martin learn? Totally cutting out something is not that hard but the benefit and reward is also not so great. Portion control on the other hand is obviously the key to more significant gains (or loses in this case) and MUCH harder to enforce.

Major revelation, eh? I know, I know… it just takes me longer than most to figure these things out. :(

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17 March 2009

Q: How do you guarantee you will crave something like never before?

A: Just try to cut it out of your diet…

Some extra stress in my life, the crummy weather we've been having, a lackluster race result, throw in an untimely zit and mix it all up with a bad day on the bathroom scale and Martin now has a sub-par self-image.

So what better to do than try and lose some weight, right? Right. That was a rhetorical question.

Weight loss and cycling have been married since the dawn of time, Lang R said it pretty well over at the Cycle University blog and I guess I'm not immune. My mind keeps going back to one ride after I stopped racing (a few years after college) that I attended right after adopting a vegetarian diet. I was riding much less than when I used to race and certainly not as fast but I had lost about 10 solid pounds when some friends and I went for a jaunt in the mountains down by Rainier. And I was climbing like crazy!

Not only was I climbing pretty well but my breathing was never labored. What a glorious feeling being able to keep up with racers while chatting.

ASIDE - another interesting (and when I say 'interesting' I of course mean 'not rational') thing about cyclists and probably athletes in general is that they hold themselves to the highest standard that they have ever achieved. Instead of being realistic about the goals they can attain because of fitness or age or ability to train, they lament the good old days when they were at some brief, difficult to attain peak of fitness.

Well that one ride or that peak kind of sticks with you. And when your ability to train is limited (for good reasons I'll grant you - stuff like family, work, having a life off the bike and maintaining friendships, etc.) you still constantly live in the past replaying your (probably brief) moments of glory over and over in your mind. Sometimes this human VCR behavior is accompanied by intensive intervals of couch time super setted with Costco size bags of potato chips and whatever local micro brew is in season which unfortunately only compounds the problem. Well, the feelings of inadequacy and slothliness anyway.

All this is a long way of saying that I am now on day two of Martin's no sugar and alcohol regime.

I'd like to lose a few pounds for racing and figure this is hopefully an easy way to get the job done plus also a healthy thing to do. Sugar and alcohol seem like the epitome of empty calories to me. Fun yes, but not anything to worry about if it's gone. As much as I believe you can eat most anything when you are exercising a lot, I also believe you should still try to eat a lot of GOOD things instead of crap. At work people are constantly bringing cookies, cake, chocolate, treats, etc. to the front office and we also get the catering leftovers from staff meetings, recruitment sessions and faculty events. We get a LOT of food and I (usually) have zero will power to resist. My goal is to change that. For a while anyway.

ANOTHER ASIDE - at what point do you reach a milestone when embarking on a course like this? I imagine that 24 hours is one, and maybe 72 hours is another. Then a week probably and then a month? Who knows if I will make it that long, i seriously doubt it… They say that to effectively lose weight you need to change your lifestyle and not go on a diet and I believe that.

So back to the point of this post. Once I decided to not eat any sugar I am f'n CRAVING things like a peanut butter cookie, ice cream and a nice piece of dark chocolate. Oh my god, I feel like what I imagine a smoker that is trying to quit feels like. Okay, not. That has got to be much harder; but hyperbole can be used for effect and I want some drama here.

And what did I buy just before deciding to do this…?! An 18-pack of Bud Light, that's what. :( Don't get me wrong, Bud Light is not Martin's idea of the next Oktoberfest gold medal beer or anything but when you are thirsty and just want something refreshing, it sure hits the spot without weighing you down. Hey, that could be a slogan…!

How bad was that 'bad' day on the scale you ask? It was about one week ago and the scale read 183. OMG shut up you say. Well I hear you but I also know that I need to really strong at 180 to climb well and if I'm 175 or less it gets noticeably easier. In the winter my weight usually hovers around 185 and in the summer - if we have one - I usually get down to 175 at some point. So I got myself all jacked up, got my psych on, made the decision yesterday and then this morning I stepped on the scale. 176. WTF?

I should know better. I bet my weight varies up to five pounds depending on how hydrated or stuffed I am so I will need to back off of the snap judgments and just build a baseline by weighing myself at the same time of day for several days here. What's the goal? A consistent 175 or slightly less. If I can hold that for a few weeks then I'll be happy.

Sheesh, after reading this you might think that:

  • Martin is a girl.
  • Martin is off (or on depending on your perspective) his medication.
  • Martin has taken cycling at the local/club level and blown it WAY out of proportion.
  • Martin isn't listening to his own advice and is still living in the past.
  • Martin just needs to throw his scale in the nearest dumpster and ride harder.
  • Martin needs to man up and stop blogging about things like weight, maybe switch to something like trucks or guns or hot chicks or hot chicks that shoot guns while driving trucks.

And you might be justified. We'll see if I make that second and third milestone or if I fall off the wagon and into a bottomless Guinness ice cream float.

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22 February 2009

that guy–running up a mountain pass in your Speedo

So I'm watching the last stage of the Tour of California and for a change the weather is pretty nice. When you combine that with a long climbs the fans are suddenly able to get really close to the athletes. In cycling this is apparently an invitation for some loony behavior …

I think it all started with Didi Senft – the Devil of the Tour de France. This guy became famous for running alongside the racers in a devil costume brandishing a pitchfork. And not showering much from what I've heard… Now it seems everyone wants some camera face time at bike races.

Today I saw the following.

  • A dude in a Speedo and nothing else. Back to basics I guess.
  • Three dudes in Speedos with their helmets on backwards. Now that's just whacky.
  • The usual group with painted faces, although they did not run too far from their cooler.
  • All the flag waving fans that are always within inches of stuffing their flag in the spokes of some rider.
  • Hundreds of people with some sort of handheld bell… did they issue these or something?
  • Some guy with cycling shorts and tie. Need I say it? And nothing else.
  • A person wearing a (really bad) Roman Legionnaire costume complete with sword.
  • This character with a football jersey, matching shorts and enormous antlers on his football helmet. He has made more than one appearance this year. It says Montana on the jersey. And it probably says his mother smoked and drank during her pregnancy in some hospital filing cabinet.
  • Two guys in giant fat suites/sumo costumes. They were the best, totally hilarious.

Truth be told I guess it's not much different than a playoff game in hockey or football. I wonder if living vicariously through athletes produces as many endorphins/testosterone/whatever as it does for the athlete and since you are not actually doing anything physical you need to vent this energy in some other way? Or is there some hard-core sports fan club that I'm not aware of and to get in you have to endure some sort of initiation.

"Okay Bill, you have shown extreme dedication and loyalty to your team by organizing the tailgate party and the keg chug for kids during spring training but tomorrow you need to go all the way. We're going to need you to wear nothing but your high school gym shorts and some body paint at the game. We know it's going to be 28 degrees but we want to be sure you really want to be in the club…"

Oh man, I just saw the guys in the fat/sumo suits again – they rule.

12 February 2009

that guy-I take 30 minutes between sets at the gym

And more, Jesus.

So there is this guy at the gym I go to that I have always thought was kinda amusing but today I decided he's pretty ridiculous as well. No really, I just did that. :)

Anyone who has lifted weights at a gym knows who I'm talking about... he's the guy that takes forever to complete a set while the world is waiting. Never mind that he might be using the only machine of this kind, you need to wait. He has developed this finely-tuned routine and damn it nobody is going to mess with it or his mojo during the whole psyching up process he goes through for every single set.

What am I talking about? Here goes.

  • First of all this is one skinny dude. He obviously is doing something wrong because for the amount of time he goes to the gym he should be making serious gains. SERIOUS. What's the take-away from this people? Time in the gym does not gun show equal.
  • He wears this completely comical white, terry cloth sweatband on his head. When I see it all I can think of is Ben Stiller in Dodgeball. And he never actually breaks a sweat. Ironic? Maybe just ridiculous.
  • He's always sporting the full, gauntlet style weightlifting gloves complete with elastic Velcro band around the wrist. Why? To prevent the massive calluses his lengthy workouts might produce no doubt. I say might because for every hour this clown is at the gym he probably is actually lifting weights for about five minutes.
  • He ALWAYS shows up to the gym in this white, really low, scooped neck tank top. I'm not sure what the neckline is called but I've only seen it in women's clothing catalogs. On the rare occasion he might have a sweatshirt over the tank top but it's there underneath, trust me. I could not help noticing that it's yellowed under the arms. Pit stains...?! Hello, how much can these things cost, $2.99? I say stock up if it's a regular part of your wardrobe. Please, if not for you then for the rest of us.
  • Flexing, he's always flexing. If it's not a futile attempt to show off his his non-existent pecs then he's lifting his shirt to check out his own six pack in the mirror. And he'll do this from way across the gym when the mirror is not even close. I usually avert my eyes when this happens so I can't actually confirm the existence of said six pack but damn he does this a lot.
  • Time is obviously not a factor in this guy's life; he obviously has tons. There is no other explanation for how long it takes him to complete a set. One day I literally watched him complete three sets of an exercise in the 30 minutes I was doing cardio. THREE SETS. He started out by carefully placing the weights on the machine. Then he would adjust his sweatband, his gloves, pace around a bit (channeling something or someone no doubt) and finally sit down. Then he had to close his eyes and rally his resources for the massive effort he about to undertake. After finally finishing one set, he would repeat this routine with the additions of walking to the other side of the gym and back (you gotta get your rest of course) and LINING UP THE HANDLES ON ALL THE WEIGHTS.) For the second and third set he took it to a whole new level. This chest press machine has a seatbelt. Not sure why you would fly off the seat while pushing on weights that force you down into it but it's there. And this guy has to use it. And adjust it. And tighten it. And adjust it some more. And tighten it some more. Oh my god, it makes me crazy just writing about this... And when he's done with his three mighty sets, does he put anything away? Of course not.

Of course the bigger question might be why Martin feels compelled to watch this guy and memorize all the details of his comical routine - I feel like it has been burned into my brain! Why can't I just do my thing and go home? Good question. But it's not the point here; I want to vent.

Okay, therapy session is over, I feel better now.

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10 February 2009

itchy butt

I know, catchy little title for this post isn't it?

So last week I finally succumbed to the overwhelming weight that is SAD and went tanning at my gym. Not such a big deal, right? Well... not if you do it right and don't boil your booty so to speak.

Eight minutes the first day felt fine. 10 minutes the second day felt okay too. After 10 minutes on day three I needed moisturizer pretty much everywhere.

So I took the weekend off and did 10 more minutes today. Bad move.

Today I can NOT sit still. My ass (which is probably covered more than any other part of my body) is all prickly and tingly. I have to consciously tell myself not to scratch myself as I walk down the hall and I'm constantly shifting in my chair. It's like one of those slow tortures that isn't really going to hurt you, it's just going to drive you insane and break your spirit.

If I were an intelligent person, there might be a few take-aways from this experience.

  • Deal with it. By the time SAD starts to kick in the sun is already out significantly longer than in the dead of winter. Daylight Saving Time is just around the corner! Well, two months is a pretty long corner but you get my drift.
  • Cover your ass dummy! Unless you are a nudist it's probably okay to be pasty in that region.
  • Take it easy! How about starting out with tanning every other day or even every third day? What's the big rush when it's only February? Besides, this time of year there is only one person in Martin's life that will see this tan.
  • Hello...! Ever heard of skin cancer? Melanoma? 'Nuf said.

Of course knowing me once I recover from this agony the pain and discomfort will fade all too quickly and I will just end up repeating this mistake next winter or later this year even. If not under the radiation of indoor cookers then outdoors on a towel. Sigh...

On the bright side the itch is just in the back. :|

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09 February 2009

Guinness cupcake

Wow... Shelley and her friend Kari were hanging out today and you the know the expression, idle hands and all that. So they went to the store and made some Guinness cupcakes:


Yes, it contains real Guinness beer! And the cheesecake frosting? Need you really ask?

This was just a hurried photo taken with my phone, getting my camera and posing the cupcake would have meant too much waiting around and I needed to shove this into my mouth pronto. God was it good. It had a dense flavor and cohesive quality that all those 'pudding in the mix' cupcakes and brownies just can't match. Made from scratch and to die for.

I made the mistake of walking upstairs and seeing that there were about 15 more on the cooling rack. Give me strength!

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26 January 2009

rollin' with the changes

Hey, better late than never, right?

Way back in college I got an earring. As is the case with these kinds of things all too often, one earring turned into three in the course of a few years. What the hell, right? Back then it was cool. If you can call a sorta preppy looking cycling nerd with earrings cool.

Then around 15-20 years ago I started wearing rings. Again, at first it was just one and then over the course of a few years the number grew to five on one hand and three on the other.


You know how when change occurs over time you are less aware of it? That was me. Oh sure, every once in a while I would find myself in a situation where I felt awkward like buying gas in some one horse town out in the boonies with shaved legs, wearing fruity (read: surf) shorts and sporting earrings in both ears and rings on almost every finger. But the effect would wear off pretty darn fast and soon I'd return to my little fashion island that is Capitol Hill and where I was the 'normal' guy and all was well.

But then you get older. And your values - or at least your sense of style - changes a little. And you start to look around.

Hmm... not too many guys who I think look really classy are sporting the triple hoops in their ears and the dueling brass (or silver and titanium in my case) knuckles. More and more I think it's about who you are and what you do and NOT what you wear that makes the person. I think I used to associate something significant with this jewelry and when I try to find that now it just isn't there.

Besides, when I got married it seemed sorta silly to have more than one ring on my left hand. I love my wedding ring, what it signifies and having it be the only ring I'm wearing helps it stand out that much more.

ASIDE - long ago after my divorce I was all about doing whatever Martin wanted. I came first and all that... Part of that was wearing all these rings that I liked again, which meant that both of my ring fingers were adorned. And I could never figure out why some women hesitated when I made an advance. Duh... Men can be such idiots.

So a few weeks ago I ditched all the extra rings. And last night on my 45th birthday I took out all the earrings.


I know, I know, heavy stuff.

What's really funny is how different I feel. What is different? Pretty much nothing except for how complete strangers might perceive me. You know, stuff that really matters. Not. Part of me thinks I'm finally growing up. :) Did I mention I just cut my hair short again?

22 January 2009

that guy–shorts in winter

I saw him again today...!

And when I say 'him' I of course mean a person that fits this stereotype.

Last night taking the bus home it was FREEZING out, mid 30s at best with a mild wind chill to boot. Half way home this guy gets up and gets off the bus; he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt. You hear me? People, I'm talking NOTHING BUT SHORTS AND A T-SHIRT here.

What is it with these people? Are they really that hot-blooded or is their metabolism really so jacked up that they just do not get cold? Or is it that they just can't/won't/couldn't be bothered to put in the effort to switch up their wardrobe even a teeny, tiny bit. You know, roll with the seasons and all that.

This guy fit the bill perfectly. He was young (20 maybe?), slightly overweight, kinda introverted looking and was wearing black Velcro tennis shoes with white, crew-length socks. One had fallen down and the other was pulled up, sorta. As he shouldered his backpack and walked sort of awkwardly down the sidewalk I was left thinking is it that hard to put on even a sweatshirt?

I can just see this guys closet. Five pairs of shorts (just enough to last until the next time he does laundry assuming he wears each pair a few days in a row) and 20 t-shirts. 90 percent of which he got for free. Some of these would have slogans on them like:

  • [insert name of high school here]
  • [insert name of computer game here]
  • Mountain Dew

ASIDE - see, the true nerd doesn't wear shirts with slogans like, "There's no place like" or, "There are only two kinds of people, those that understand binary and those that don't". They wear stuff that isn't clever at all. That's why they are nerds. Get it?

So today on the way to work I see this same guy on the bus again. So help me he has on the same shoes, socks, shorts and shirt. [And I thought I was bad...] If anything it was even colder this morning than last night plus it was pretty foggy and his face was flushed and his arms were pink so I'm thinking he has GOT to be cold. Is it that he just doesn't understand that clothes have a purpose or he's just so OCD that putting on anything out of the ordinary would be too upsetting?

And then I'm thinking, if this guy is legitimately warm enough when it's in the 30s, what does he wear in the summer...?! I mean he has got to be hating life when it tops 70 degrees, right? What about when it gets up to 80? Does he hide in his apartment and put bowls of ice in front of fans? Does he just not go outside?

I give up. I choose just to be entertained. The bus excels at that for sure.

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